In hindsight, perhaps I shouldn't have had three shots of pink lemonade-flavored vodka before I went out to trim the bushes.
I probably would have cut myself in the same stupid way regardless, though, and at least this way I didn't feel much pain.*
* I'm okay, I just slipped with the pruning saw and cut my left thumb next to the nail. But as a former Boy Scout, I should have been more careful. I guess that's why they don't have vodka at Camporees.