It's a fun book, albeit somewhat of a vanity project. These biking buddies seem more interested in documenting their cycling adventures together than providing a useful guide to pizza. The style is casual and conversational; McNaught and Berger remind me of a rambling Click and Clack.
The authors are apparently working on another book, so I have a few suggestions to make it better than the first:
- You need to review more pizzas!
- I like that you include lots of pictures, but the captions shouldn't merely repeat sentences from the main text.
- You should eliminate the excerpts in the margins -- that's more of a magazine style than a book style. (Numbers 2 and 3 can be summed up as "I don't like to read the same words twice.")
- Most importantly, why would you go through all the effort and expense of writing and self-publishing a book without hiring a decent proofreader?!?!? It's not just the spelling errors... Sheesh, there are two Chapter Sevens!
Incidentally, I happen to know someone who'd love to proofread your next manuscript.