Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Duh! IDOT Says Left-Hand Ramps Suck

After decades of research, Illinois Department of Transportation engineers have figured out what every driver on the Eisenhower Expressway figured out the first time they drove through Oak Park: the left-side ramps at Austin Blvd. and Harlem Ave. are really dangerous!

And just as surely as IDOT is stating the obvious, those contrarian boneheads in Oak Park cannot accept it. First their assistant village manager says, "We're not sold that the left-hand ramps are inherently more dangerous," because he apparently never actually drives on the expressway. Or perhaps he thinks that 49% more accidents is "normal" because he's used to it. Then there's the obligatory moron-on-the-street quote:
Shanna Philipson, 43, of Oak Park, said the left-hand ramps are part of what makes Oak Park unique. "I love them. I always tell people, 'We're so liberal in Oak Park, we even exit on the left,'" Philipson said. "It's a distinct community, and we enjoy it. I'd be sad to see them change."
If dangerous freeway ramps are what defines your community, maybe IDOT should just make the Eisenhower 24 lanes wide and plow the whole damned suburb under. That, too, would be distinct.

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