Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween Costume

This year I'm going to dress up as a Wall Street banker. I'll take all the candy I want, and if that's not enough, I'll take your house, too.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Lifestyles of the Overweight and Immature

"What do you want for dinner?" she asked.

"I don't know. I can't make up my mind between chicken nuggets and Dinty Moore beef stew."

"Chicken nuggets?!? What are you, twelve years old?"

"Um... I like barbecue sauce and nuggets are good for dipping."

"Well, if you make some, can you make some for me, too?"

But the real kicker came three hours later when she said, "I'm heating up more chicken nuggets. Do you want any?"

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I Give Up

Apparently, my blog entries are not funny, interesting, or cool, so I have deleted the ignored check boxes from my blog layout.

Awesome Gift Idea

I don't usually recommend products or services here, but this is cool enough to make an exception. It's a company called ScrapWalls that makes custom collages of your photos. A 20" by 30" poster is only $29.99 (plus $5.99 shipping), and smaller sizes are less. They offer a variety of shapes, but naturally I chose a U.S. map for a collage of my cross-country bike trip:

Click on "Pop Out" to view the above as a separate window.

Even better, ScrapWalls sometimes offers Groupon-like deals (in the past through Eversave and BuyWithMe, and currently -- for the next week -- through kgbdeals) for half-price. This could make a great Christmas gift, and it's an easy and inexpensive great way to get a bunch of photos up on the wall instead of buried on a hard drive. With a sale and a coupon, I got a sturdy frame at Michael's for only $12. Now if I can just find a place to hang it...

Note: With the irregular U.S. shape, some of the photos got chopped off. From what I can tell, most of the photos that are less than 50% visible are duplicated elsewhere in the collage, except for the pictures on the west coast (should be less of an issue with a simpler shape). The web site lets you rearrange the photos, but it may take some trial and error to get it just the way you want it. Or maybe I'm just too damn picky. The hardest part was deciding which photos to leave out, which is why I had to get the largest size!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Santa Had Better Damn Well Appreciate This*

Our 90-year-old chimney is on the verge of teetering off the roof and crushing our neighbors on their back porch. It was in bad shape a year ago, and there's been a lot of rough weather since -- a blizzard, high winds, torrential rains, etc. Getting through another winter may be pressing our luck, so we're going to bite the bullet and break out the checkbook (seriously, ever since I started paying bills online, I write maybe five checks in a whole year). The damages? About $3,400 including a stainless steel liner (the liner is the killer, $1,500 in parts).

* Actually, Santa would be pretty pissed if he squeezed down our chimney and found himself in our boiler instead of a fireplace.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Soy Un Perdedor

I really should tell you all about this past weekend, but I can't seem to get my act together. What kind of writer am I, anyway?

I am a disappointment to so many people.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Father, Son, Holy Cow!

I just got home from a spontaneous, fantastic weekend road trip to Minnesota where I finally saw a band I've loved for 25 years (the title of this entry is a clue) for the first time in concert... and then a second time two days later. Details to follow...

Saturday, October 01, 2011

The Lizard King

Didn't everybody go through a Doors phase in high school?