Sunday, August 14, 2011


People often ask me why I don't write fiction. Okay, that's a blatant lie. Most people don't want me to write fiction. Here's an example why. Today I was thinking of writing a story about a man who stars in porno movies in Poland. All I have so far is his nickname: the Turgid Pole.

Here's another idea I've been kicking around for awhile. A woman meets a guy. They start dating, and things are going really well. Then he loses his job. She says maybe it's time for them to move in together, but he refuses to stay at her place. His excuses get lamer and lamer, and she can't figure out why he can't commit. It turns out she lives across the street from an elementary school, and unbeknownst to her, the guy is a convicted sex offender.

My ideas only get worse from there...

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