Friday, February 18, 2011

Conservative Certitude

One thing that amazes me about modern conservatives is their certitude. No matter how complicated the question, they will offer a simple answer with the utmost conviction, as if no other possibility even exists. Of course, they are usually full of shit, which makes their confidence even more incredible.

Liberalism, in contrast, is about recognizing shades of gray. It's about pragmatic flexibility rather than rigid moralistic proclamations. As such, liberals are not given to the certitude that makes conservatives so ridiculous.

Conservatism seems to have a special appeal to people who never learned useful skills like critical thinking. The movement paints "intellectuals" as pointy-headed liberal fools in ivory towers, which allows people who never went to college (or perhaps barely made it through) to feel superior to those who did, thus negating a lifelong sense of inadequacy.

It's quite amusing to listen to them. They're like the kid in the class who never does his homework. Then one day he has the answer to the teacher's question for the first time ever and raises his hand excitedly. But when the teacher calls on him, he's got it totally wrong.

To combat the wisdom of actual intellectuals, conservatives have developed their own parallel universe of pseudo-intellectuals in an attempt to lend credence to a smorgasbord of bad ideas. They have their own scientists and their own economists, all generating opinions disguised as facts to support conservative philosophies.

It's funny how conservatives like to portray liberals as controlling know-it-alls when they are the ones who claim to have all the fucking answers.

One brilliant twist in this anti-intellectualism is that it is virtually impossible to insult a conservative for having a lazy mind, using incorrect logic, etc. Having already rejected intellectualism, a conservative doesn't even view it as criticism.

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