Monday, June 07, 2010


Today at Ruby Tuesday's I ordered fried mozzarella cheese sticks. It tasted like grease-laden breading -- no cheese flavor whatsoever. I remember a time when that was a tasty appetizer, but lately everywhere I go it sucks. What happened? Is everyone using some lame cheese, like maybe fat-free mozzarella? That would be pretty silly considering that the cheese is the least of one's dietetic concerns in fried mozzarella sticks!

Actually, many of the cheese sticks I've sampled over the past year have suffered from a dearth of cheese. It's as if the goal is to include just enough to hold the breading together. No wonder I can't taste the cheese anymore.

And yet today's cheese sticks are nowhere near the worst I've ever had. That prize goes to the sticks I ordered one Friday night at the same time my friend ordered fried calamari. I think you can guess where this is leading. Even if you like fried calamari -- and I have to be pretty smashed to eat that stuff -- I think you would agree that frying the cheese and the calamari in the same oil is not a good plan. Fishy cheese. Yum. We sent that back to the kitchen.

Speaking of cheese, last night we went to Jury's, a Lincoln Square bar & grill, for burgers, and I got the most pathetic slice of cheddar. I got a slice so thin that I could see the burger through it. It would have to be mighty sharp for so little to have any flavor, and it was not. Worst of all, the bastards charged me an extra 75 cents for it. I have so much good cheddar cheese at home, I told my wife that next time I'm going to sneak a thick slice into Jury's in my pocket! They make great burgers, but the cheese isn't worth it.

Well, I guess turning 40 didn't inspire any positive changes in my diet.

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