Monday, May 07, 2007

If We Lost, Who Won?

A great article on AlterNet by Gary Brecher discusses who won the war in Iraq. Early on, he paints a picture that nearly had the milk from my breakfast cereal dribbling out of my nose:
At a regional level the big winner is obvious: Iran. In fact, Iran wins so big in this war I think that Dick Cheney's DNA should be checked out by a reputable lab, because he has to be a Persian mole. My theory is that they took a fiery young Revolutionary Guard from the slums of Tehran, dipped him in a vat of lye to get that pale, pasty Anglo skin, zapped his scalp for that authentic bald CEO look, squirted a quart of cholesterol into his arteries so he'd develop classic American cardiac disease, and parachuted him into the outskirts of some Wyoming town.
Iran has lost a regional enemy and gained "a risk-free laboratory to spy on American forces in action. If they feel like trying out a new weapon or tactic to deal with U.S. armor, all they have to do is feed the supplies or diagrams to one of their puppet Shia groups." Should the U.S. choose to unleash their military on Iran, the Iranians will be ready.

Meanwhile, the long-term winners will be ascendant powers India and China. They have watched the U.S. burn through a trillion dollars in a losing cause while shoring up their own economies.

Brecher also describes how the war has hurt two major U.S. allies in the region, Israel and Turkey, and admonishes our VP: "Happy now, Cheney, you Khomeini-loving, anti-American mole?" I love it.

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