Friday, March 24, 2006

Things That Make Me Drink

This week my wife had Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday off. On Sunday night I suggested that we could go out of town for two or three days. I had an ulterior motive. She kept talking about going to a benefit on Thursday for an animal shelter that involved bowling, potentially bad pizza, and the inevitable emotional appeal to adopt another dog. I desperately wanted to avoid all three of those things. She also said there wasn't anyplace she could think of to go, an amusing response since it has always been my responsibility to plan any outing longer than a few hours. I reminded her that I had three days worth of free Hertz car rentals to use by March 31. Then she said she didn't want to go anywhere. Instead (ha ha), she intended to clean the house. At least she didn't call me on my hidden agenda.

On Monday morning I asked her again just to confirm that she didn't want to go anywhere. Nope.

On Tuesday morning I asked her what she was going to do on her days off. She mentioned a few things and added, "...Unless you want to surprise me with a trip out of town." That was patently unfair, and I told her so. I had practically begged her to go on a trip, and only now, when most of my planning time had passed, did she give the green light.

We stayed home. She didn't clean the house. And after all the fuss, she didn't go with or without me to "Bowling for Canines."

Today, for the sixth time in the past week, I mentioned the free car rental days that are about to expire. She said we could just rent a car so we'd have two cars for a few days. But if we needed two cars, we would own two cars. I said, "Well, maybe I should go somewhere next week." After spending about two months of 2005 on the road, I have had a terrible case of cabin fever this winter. The last night I didn't sleep in my own bed was in mid-August. "Without me?" she asked pitifully.

Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!! "Dammit, I gave you two chances to go on a trip this week and you shot me down both times! It took three weeks of car rentals to earn these certificates, and I'm not going to waste them."

If I can decide where, I am going away next week. Right now I'm either driving south far enough to ride my bike in warm weather or driving north to add to my "collection" of counties. The latter is slightly more appealing just because I did "enough" downstate biking last year. On the other hand, I have to start burning off that winter fat one of these days. No one wants to meet Jabba the Hutt at a book signing for Biking Illinois.

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