Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Sorry, Craig, I Can't Take It

Since Craig Ferguson was hosting the People's Choice Awards tonight, I thought I'd try watching it. I was already watching NCIS anyway. Pauley Perrette just cracks me up. Well, as you might guess from the timestamp of this entry, I didn't make it. Not even close. The People's Choice Awards were the most inane spectacle I've seen in a long time.

The show began with Jessica Simpson, so it was probably doomed from the start. Then Ferguson did an introductory monologue that wasn't particularly inspired. As a regular viewer of The Late Late Show, I recognized a lot of recycled material, and it wasn't even his best stuff.

First award: leading lady. Nominees: Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellweger. Well, Cameron is just "okay" in my book, and I can't stand to look at Renee's mousy face and squinty eyes. And Walk the Line was a way bigger movie than the ones those two were in (I thought the only thing Zellweger did this year was get her marriage to that guy with the cowboy hat over his eyes annulled). Heck, my parents still haven't seen Walk the Line because even last weekend it was sold out, and it's been in theaters for a while. Plus Reese had to work way harder than those other two. She had to learn how to sing -- like June Carter, no less. Duh, Reese Witherspoon won, probably by a landslide.

Going into the first commercial break, some bubblehead was in the audience talking to Teri Hatcher about her nice hair. Then she announced that a hair product company was sponsoring a "best hair" award. But she was such a tease -- she wouldn't announce the winner until after the commercial break. Sheesh. Nominees: Faith Hill, Jennifer Garner, Nicole Kidman. Are you kidding me? I mean, I've always had a thing for Nicole Kidman, but I've never thought she had nice hair. Usually it's stringy, wiry or thin. And I hate it when she's blonde (though she once did a photo shoot with black hair that looked even worse). I've always had a thing for Jennifer Garner, too, but hair was never really a part of the attraction. So I suppose that leaves Faith Hill, if I cared.

I didn't. As soon as the hair commercial started (featuring -- what a shock -- Teri Hatcher), I said hasta la vista to Craig and the People's Choice Awards. On the bright side, Dr. Phil is going to be on The Late Late Show tonight. That should be entertaining since he's one of Ferguson's favorite impersonation subjects.

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