Tuesday, March 08, 2005

And You Thought Battlefield Earth Was Bad...

Okay, I'll confess that I didn't actually see that movie, but since I don't even like a lot of good movies, I can't imagine liking Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. I just learned that this John Travolta flop was not the first time that celebrity followers of Mr. Hubbard's wacky "religion" tried to interpret his work. The Church of Critical Thinking just reviewed The Road To Freedom, a Hubbard-penned album that makes the worst record you've ever heard suddenly sound a whole lot better.

It's "craptacular" (the Church of CT's word), with convoluted, obfuscatory lyrics sung over music that was dated and cheesy even when it was released in 1986. How bad are Hubbard's lyrics? "Death is only an invention to rid the universe of life. It hasn't and is a failed device" (from "Why Worship Death"). The Church of CT even includes mercifully brief samples of each song for your listening pleasure. Musically, it ranges from uninspired dance to summer camp sing-a-long to bad jazz (even Chick Corea can't rise above the swill). The last song features L. Ron himself, and should not be missed! And yes, Travolta sings on a couple of songs, as do Frank Stallone (Sylvester's brother) and Leif Garrett.

And if that's not enough $cien+ology for you, check out the Church of CT's review of the book Understanding the E-Meter. It gets a lot deeper into the nuts and bolts of the "religion" than The Road To Freedom, making even less sense.

1 comment:

nita said...

i saw Battlefield Earth. i was pregnant and too sick to get up and get the remote. truly horrid. truly.