Thursday, September 30, 2004

Liberated And Terrified

I felt liberated saying my goodbyes today. Everyone said, "We'll probably have you back here soon," since this was my second return engagement. Boldly I said, "Probably not. I'm changing careers." That surprised a lot of people. When I said I was going to be a freelance copywriter, people said things like, "I didn't know you had any background in that." That didn't exactly build my confidence, but I know how to write, and that's half the battle. I'll figure it out as I go, I suppose. Others didn't understand the freelance concept. "Write for who?" they asked.

By the time I shut off my computer and walked out the door, I felt liberated yet terrified. On one hand, I was not only leaving behind an assignment that caused me a lot of inner turmoil (let me note that the client's people were not at fault--they've been friends for a long time, as much as 11 years), but I had also declared my intentions to start anew as a freelance copywriter. And that is what terrifies me. I didn't burn any bridges, but by declaring my intention not to return, I will feel like a failure if I do. As I told my wife, I'll have to walk in with a big "F" on my forehead! As I walked toward the train, I was torn between excitement and fear. I've been contemplating this for so long that I had almost forgotten how foreign and scary the idea of striking out alone is to most people.

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